Tears in my eyes laughing.
I am 'complete' minus the end of my index finger which I lost trying to feed a chipstick to an otter, I should have listened to Terry Nutkins when he said "if you f*ck about feeding Otters you'll lose a finger", at the time it made no sense, now it does.
Q: i don't really need a wet suit...i'd really like an aquarium! have you got any of those?!
A: No aquariums, but I do have a dead squirrel floating in a bucket, will that do?